septembre.us

Plus que quatre jours avant de passer les portes tournantes de l’aeroport. Voyager en accelere. Voir son avion en pixels sur un affichage LCD, encastre dans un siege, et s’imaginer tres loin au-dessus, dans l’atmosphere rarefiee, et voir ce petit bout de ferraille. Se voir avancer a vitesse si lente qu’on croirait tomber sur le planisphere. San Francisco, Idaho Falls, Helena, Boise, Alberta, Desert, Reykjavik, Dublin, London, Paris. Un petit arc de cercle se trace doucement. Se voir d’au-dessus.
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D’ici la, il va falloir etirer le cours du temps. Y coincer tout ce qui est en retard et qui n’a pas a ete fait depuis X temps. Il y a un moment que je n’ai plus rien enregistre. La derniere chanson enregistree etait seismic shivers. J’ai des idees, mais pas le temps de m’y mettre. En janvier. Putain de temps.
Je me prendrais bien une annee sabbatique.

Got myself in awkward situation once again. Had to sing at the Xmas party. Never felt so stressed singing in public. I gave little concerts, for anynomous people. It felt so much better to sing in a bar where nobody knows you, and nobody really pays attention, than to sing in front of 50 persons that stare at you, stop talking, feel sorry for you when you fail, and feel impressed when you do one tiny thing right. I used to be better than I am. Helene says it was all right, I do believe her.
Elizabeth sung too; she had a nice Christmas song catalog. Guillaume also played his part. They all seem so more much at ease. I was just boiling inside. Hey guys, don’t make yourself a bad image of me because of what happened today. I swear I can do better. Well, I cling to this hope.

Un jour, il faudra que je compile toutes mes photos de San Francisco. La ville, a chaque fois que je prends le temps de la regarder semble offrir a chaque fois un nouvelle facette… Voici un peu d’hiver.

I really could use some sleep. This have been going crazy lately. Whatever I did, I always ended up running out of time. I haven’t seen my American friends for awhile. I haven’t done much indeed. Except maybe for that movie ‘love actually’. Exactly what I was expecting, and exactly what I was in the mood for. I am flying back to France on the 16th. Dreamed of France last night, dreamed of Paris, dreamed of Nacara -somebody I wish I knew-.

Boy, do I like Elliot Smith. Can’t believe I did not hear from him earlier. I am forced and pleased to admit that it is possible to go very far with not much, nothing fancy, just nice melodies and nice words. At the heart of it all.

Helene is really into this networking thing those days. I know, networking is an American invention and we French suck at that. And as a matter of fact, I always feel awkward when someone I have never seen before comes to me with a smile, introduces himself, and shows off with his nice job or whatever. I always think to myself that I would not want to make friends this way. Well, coming back to Helene, I think she really sets up the stage for a nice thing, little by little. She does not wait for things to happen, she takes positive actions to make things happen. She’s got my total support.

I wish I had more time to record things. I had this exam today, this project tomorrow, and a presentation to prepare for the next day. Take a deep breath, and relax.

Si vous etiez une chanson, vous seriez quelle chanson, vous? La reponse qui vient presqu’immediatement est eminemment previsible: “ca depend des jours hein”. Non non. Cherchez bien. Il y a toujours une fraction de soi-meme qui reste presque constante, une fraction indivisible et inherente a votre personnalite, ce qui fait que vous etes ce que vous etes. On est tres loin des modes, des passades, des sauts d’humeurs. Une chanson qui vous appartient et vous ressemble. Un air comme un parfum.